some are going to ask you, “Where were you?,” you know
and others will claim you were never absent
that all things work to the good
and words like that
I won’t ask you
I’m not sure I’m ready for the answer
but I do wonder why all the brokenness
in the midst of a day where my little boy
is beaming because he built his first
Lego model from start to finish
all by himself
and on a day that found my girl
dancing and singing and making up stories
while her big sister beamed and found joy in the
silly and yet important things
in the midst of all of that
why this brokenness?
the sun was shining, for goodness’ sake
so many had spoken to you and asked for help
my heart aches because they were after a dream,
but because someone was hurting and lost
they are no longer here
and I want to know why
but I am hesitant to ask
because I’m afraid of what the answer might be
was it me?
did I fail him?
or another like him?
did I fail to stop and smile,
pay attention, take up time,
give away the love you so freely give
just for the sake of giving it?
some will ask where you were
but I think I know–
weeping with the rest of us,
tears streaming down your face,
wishing it could have all been different
and it could have
there were no brokenness
and that, you’ve left up to us, haven’t you?
Where were you?
pleading with us to look