Today I had to text my college sophomore and ask her about this phrase I’ve seen floating around in social media–
because those words kept going through my head.
Check yo self.
And I so wanted to say them today.
To someone else.
Ahem.
That’s right. The day after I asked us all to stop judging and walk with folks in their messes.
I wanted to say this to folks who had their children in tow and maybe weren’t paying close enough attention to what their children were up to. They were engaged in conversation and their littles were wandering a bit. Nothing bad happened, no one came close to getting hurt, and yet I wanted to say this to them–“Check yo self and yo children too.”
Okay, pot–seen the kettle lately?
Sigh.
I’ve been there too. I have been that Mama so needing adult conversation that I might not have been as focused as I should on my littles or their needs or behavior. I might have been there as recently as today, but I’m not saying for sure. Ahem.
This blog post was going to go in a whole ‘nother direction tonight, but when I saw my own words from last night-walk with each other with our messiness intertwined–it stopped my fingers and the direction of my thoughts cold. I guess that includes our children and their messes too, huh?
Oh me. I almost fell off the non-judgmental wagon there.
That was a close one.
I don’t get to pick and choose when living like that works for me. It’s an “all in” kind of thing.
It’s a lot easier to say those words “check yo self” to someone across a crowded room than it is to the person in the mirror, the one who finds it so easy to slip back in her old ways, isn’t it?
Last night I mentioned that this parenting thing isn’t easy.
Let me add one more thing that’s not easy.
This living life. Being intentional. With kindness and grace. Not. Easy.
And I know I am having growing pains when I catch myself from falling back into the depths of holier than thou. Nobody knows another’s story well enough to judge. When I act like I do, I am opening the door for folks to do the same with me and my story.
And that has never felt too good, I’m not gonna lie.
So yes. Tonight instead of telling y’all all about how these folks behaved and how they could have behaved better, I’m going to shrug and say, I don’t know. It could have been way worse, and I have no idea why it was the way it was. Me and mine did the best we knew how to do and that’s all I can be responsible for. The only one I can really say “Check yo self” to is that chick in the mirror who finds it really hard to walk this high road of giving grace. I’d much rather hightail it through the woods and find a shortcut. The high road is hard.
But the scenery…..and the company–it’s gonna be worth it, right?
Off to check myself, and put this girl to bed. About faces in attitudes can be exhausting.
Love and grace to all.
I Might Need A Nap 
Speaking of passing judgment and The New Slang, yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about the phrase “throwing shade.” Initially, I’d thought it was complimentary. Yes, I’m that clueless, but seriously, where I live, shade is where it’s COMFORTABLE. My friend thought the same. However, “throwing shade” always seems to be stated with some sass: “Girl keeps throwing shade. Why she do that to everybody?” Initially, I would’ve wanted to be friends with that “girl.” She had SHADE! Now that I know, not so much.
Ummm, here in GA shade is our best friend. When we were househunting many years ago, SHADE was on my shopping list. It was a must have. So please tell me the meaning of this phrase. Oh me, I could have really messed up. I’d think shade was cool too. Thanks for saving me from THAT embarrassment. I appreciate you–your reading and taking time to share. Best wishes and go take a rest in the shade for me. 😉
You gave the meaning right but it us stl slightly out if context. It is what you would say to someone who is being rude or disrespectful to warn them that if they don’t stop they are about to bet a beat down. So glad you didn’t say it!!!
Oh me, Andrea, I’m glad I didn’t either. I thought I would have been just cluing them into their misbehaving–but that I could have started a throwdown? Uh oh. It reminds me of my Granny telling me I couldn’t say, “AYYYY” like the Fonz because I couldn’t tell her what it meant. She was right, I shouldn’t go around saying things I don’t know what they mean–and this is a prime example. Thanks for looking out for me. Hugs and best wishes. Appreciate your reading and taking time to share.
Forgive typos. Cell phone surfing.
Happens all the time around here. Phones have minds of their own, don’t they? Grace abounds, my friend. 😉
Shade.. that’s a new one I’ve heard used by reality TV stars… especially from Atlanta. I think it’s a back-handed compliment.