When she awakes in the morning and reads this, as she does so faithfully everyday, it will be her birthday. This is part of celebrating her birthday “all week long” as Mama learnt us to do all these years. (It’s also because not only did I forget the peaches, I also forgot the card. And Cooter deleted the picture of the flowers I took that I was going to send. *sigh*)
My first memory of her
is reaching up to take her hand
as she takes me for a walk down that old dirt road
and she smiles
the smile that has not changed once
over all the years
The smile that gave me comfort
and filled me with love
still does today
as recently as a few hours ago
She shared with me her love of reading,
of books, of yarn, of General Foods International Coffee
Irish Mocha Mint
(I felt quite grown up and proper, you know)
and of all things English
It was her name on the paper
We would be hers if “anything” happened
A promise to them she took seriously
and still does–there is never a time she doesn’t answer
She tells me stories of my Daddy
how he let her curl up next to him on his bed
while he was reading
How he read to her
(I wonder if she knows how much her big brother’s face always lit up
when he mentioned her name)
How he took her to a book store and ignited her love for reading too
Just as she took me all those years ago
I spent $3.85 and fell in love with having books on my shelf
A love that has filled my heart and my home
thank you
She makes me laugh and listens well,
a gift beyond measure
I see him and others in her eyes
and her voice is home to me
She was Mama’s friend,
the first day of school celebration with “Jeremiah Johnson,”
was that every year, I wonder
She listened and weeped with Mama and laughed over the
antics and joys of having grands
And when the time came she stood around a bed, not once
but twice, she loved them too
so very much
While on this journey she has offered carrots, advice, corn, onions, help,
sweet potatoes, newspapers, new potatoes, squash, beans, hugs, flowers, tears, and
Love
And cupcake tins are okay to use without the liner, you know, and
puppies in heat, well, good luck with that *smile*
And bail money? “I got it, do what you gotta do”
She has sat by my side and said, “It’s okay” when I just couldn’t anymore
And she has looked at me and said “You are your Mama’s daughter”
more than once
and those words that once would have made me cringe
thirty years ago or twenty or ten
Are the greatest of all gifts to me now
She has hugged me and held me
And crossed her fingers and talked to God for me
She has remembered with me and
Sat in the dark with me, showing up
when I needed her most, always
She is a Mama, a Grandmother, a sister, wife, friend, and daughter
But forever and always, she was my first true love,
the first person I remember loving outside of the people who gave me life
and still today, her name means LOVE to me
Grace personified, a beautiful soul
who knows me and calls me by name
who loves me and gives me hope and
who knows a lot about math–
we had the same teacher you know, years apart–
multiplying the joys and dividing the sorrows,
she’s really good at both
I’m afraid that I need to learn another language
to find the right words, enough words,
to express how full she makes my heart
She would probably want me to say here, at some point,
“she is not perfect”
and there it is for any who believe it
but what matters is
She is a gift that God gave the world,
to show us the peace and wonder and light
there is in the midst of all the brokenness
She is a reminder that we are loved
And that will do for a birthday Monday
Sometimes you’ll stumble – sometimes you’ll just lie down
Sometimes you’ll get lonely – with all these people around
You might shiver when the wind blows – and you might get blown away
You might lose a little color – you might lose a little faith
We are each other’s angels – we meet when it is time
We keep each other going – and we show each other signs
Tonight I had the privilege of hearing David LaMotte play live at The Light at Bare Bulb Coffee. Hearing him play was the only thing that tore me away from visiting with my Aunt, who makes me laugh and hears me cry. And hears me laugh and makes me cry. (in a good way) I am glad I did. It was while sitting, listening to him perform this song “We Are Each Other’s Angels,” that I thought about her and her birthday and who she is. She is my Angel. She is a blessing. And I love her.
Happy Birthday! And as Mama would say, Happy Everyday! Love you.
I Might Need A Nap 