finally

your voice comes back to us

recorded on paper, written, thought out

what you said, what you wished for

the dreams that never came to be

the life lost to the things that held onto you

and wouldn’t let go

demons, darkness, distractions

 

you once believed in all that could be

we must believe that ourselves and hold onto it

so many questions, the hope that you once dreamed

and believed they could happen

is all we have now

 

 

what happens in hearts that cannot be untangled–

who cannot break away from the grasp of the cold?

why must they be lost forever

until completely swallowed up by the worries and fears

that torment them deep inside

 

 

the happy smiles, the jovial laughs, we all want to hide behind the mask

never let anyone in to see the mess inside

oh if only we could have seen

if only you had let us in

 

 

denial, pride, fear, shame, pain

are not friends to the soul

they tear it apart and break it to the core

until there’s nothing left but a life lost

too soon, too much, too heartbreaking

 

 

wishing it were all a dream

and we could all have do-overs

a chance to go for it again, to run, to leap,

to soar

and to turn it all around

and stick the landing

 

 

but it seems

that is for movies of the week and fairy tales

when in truth we falter, we trip, we fall and cannot pick ourselves back up

all the while smiling with the mask we’ve made

Yes, I’m fine, all is well, just fine and dandy, and you?

 

 

in this life, there’s not always a second chance or third or fourth

and a faulty landing can earn us far worse than a low number on a scoreboard

or a bumpy ride down a runway

it can take us down

and out

 

 

I promise to try to look beyond the masks of others

and try to trust and not hide behind my own

 

 

if only we had ripped yours away, grabbed you by your shoulders,

looked you in the eyes

and said,

“I know”

“I understand”

“I want to hear your story” or

cried out, “I want to help!” and then

did something, anything to help you change your course

 

 

but we didn’t speak

and you didn’t trust

and now your voice is silent

except for what is written

beautiful words of dreams and plans and love and laughter

 

 

you planned a good life

and now, my friend, you have it

your journey is over, the tears you never let go are wiped away

peace be with you

finally