Today on one of our many adventures, the littles and I got two butterfly bushes in addition to some other fun things to plant. The butterfly bushes were, I suppose, an attempt to make my yard a little more hospitable. To, you know, the critters. (I heard a friend share that she has no bees in her yard, and I got sad, okay? And it’s not for her lack of trying, so I got worried, since this spring, gardening wise, I’ve pretty much been a slacker.) In hindsight, perhaps it was my subconscious remembering the two I gave Daddy one year for his birthday. They are such happy, busy plants. Critters always hovering and dancing around them.
Daddy had planted them next to his building. (A workshop of sorts, I suppose really, but we always called it “Daddy’s building.”) If his truck wasn’t parked right there facing the bushes, that was my parking spot in the yard–and still is. The butterfly bushes grew fast and were fairly low maintenance, until one cold day I pulled up and they were all cut back. But that’s what you do–cut them back so they will grow well the next spring. And that’s another whole discussion for some other time.
So regardless of the reason, we brought these two home to plant in the back where we had a tree that died and had to be cut down. My little friend was out there in my ground up stump pile last week trying to dig a big hole, and I thought what better to put in there than a butterfly bush. (I’m afraid he’s not going to get my pool dug before he moves.) I would love to have lots of butterflies out there celebrating, sharing with all their butterfly friends that THIS is the place to be. Last summer we were lucky that my horticultural genius of a friend shared some of her cocoons with us. We watched them hatch and then let them go when they were ready. It was when I looked the little butterfly that was sitting on my finger in his precious little face that I wondered:
When he made his cocoon, was he afraid?
Did he wonder what was about to happen? Did he know where he was going? Did he know just how beautiful and free and DIFFERENT his new life was going to be? Had anyone told him? Did he believe them? Was he afraid?
I’ve thought about this a lot.
Because, well, if he was afraid, I just don’t think I could bear it.
But maybe I’m not just talking about butterflies anymore.
Tomorrow I will go out and plant my new butterfly bushes. And wonder. And remember. Party on, my friends, you’ve had quite the journey. Welcome home.
4 thoughts on “Do You Think They’re Afraid?”
Hey Tara. I miss you even though we rarely saw each other in the Warner Robins area. I read your blog this AM because I have been so busy lately and felt I wanted to slow down a minute.
The day we moved to Statesboro, two weeks ago now, I found that 2 chrysalis’ had moved with us. They were attached to the inside of my car trunk. I don’t know if they had gotten in on a suitcase or box. Sarah and Rachel were with us that day and we all agreed it was perhaps a sign of favor – “new beginning” or something of the sort. As we carefully removed the little “packages” we discovered they were wiggling. We were fascinated with them, treated them gently and placed them on a plant in the backyard, hoping that they would be safe and proceed to escape as planned. Actually I got so busy that I never went back to check on them.
This also reminded me that moths are also a symbol of God’s presence. A close friend had a big moth appear in a kitchen window the day her Daddy died. She even was able to take a picture of the beautiful moth because it stayed with her all day.
I’m sorry to ramble. Thanks for giving me something beautiful to think about this AM. So glad to know God is near and surrounds us with Life. He is so Good. Love you Tara and all the littles.
Miss Sue, thank you for stopping by and sharing your stories. I feel like we’ve had a cup of coffee together and visited. Please “ramble” with me anytime.
I am so sorry the move happened and we didn’t get our visit in. I do hope when you have time we can visit over the phone. Just let me know when is good. I love your story about the chrysalis’. So sweet. It was very precious to have those last year and watch them emerge and fly off.
I didn’t know that about moths. I will have to tell Aub. She tends to be afraid of them. Now, maybe not.
I was moved to tears to hear from you, especially on this post. I thought of you a lot as I wrote it. I have questions that I’d like to ask one day, if you are okay with that. In the meantime, know you are loved and missed and I give thanks for you always.
When Rosie was little, maybe 3, she came home from Miss Julie’s with a new word – chrysalis. She would scrunch up her little mouth and say the word and Anna and I would laugh every time. Even now – if we need a good laugh – we will say to the nearly 15 y/o: “Rosie, say ‘chrysalis’, please?” and we will all laugh again as she says it. Thanks for prompting that memory. I needed it today. Love you and yours, Tara.
Love to you all as well, Nancy. Thank you for reading and for sharing your story. I love this one. Will she say it for us, do you think? I’m always up for a good laugh. So precious.