It’s been a long week. Full of emotional ups and downs. The kind of roller coaster that leaves you spinning and queasy after. (Here I am acting like I know what it’s like to ride roller coasters. Right.) Still, yes, that kind of week. Laughter and joy, sorrow and tears, worry and fun, peaks and valleys.
Last weekend we were able to get our tree home, put up, and decorated. It took a couple of days all in all, but I was feeling, as my Mama and Great Aunt would say, mighty sanctimonious about it. We did it. No, I don’t have it in me to put all of our Christmas things out, but yes, feeling pretty good. Despite everything, I felt like I could handle all that this season might throw at me. I had my feet back under me again at least.
And then this blasted (excuse my language) thing came this week.
It’s obviously the January issue of this magazine The Fella signed me up for (free for three months) through a special offer. Which I appreciate.
They don’t know me like that.
They can’t just focus on one thing for us to work on? To try? They gotta get all in my chili? I feel like they’re throwing things at me from all directions. I mean, did they leave ANYTHING untouched? Finances…..body……eating…..parenting…..my things…..my clothes…..and my skin….really?! Everything except my house and my heart and mind. But wait, check out the table of contents inside.
Oh honestly. I’m not even handling December very well. Just like that, my confidence and satisfaction with how I’m doing this holiday season were kicked to the curb. January is trying to butt in and kill the joy. And who writes this stuff anyway? Notice that we shouldn’t worry about being the “perfect parents” anymore. Now we should stress because we want to be perfect. And apparently that’s an inappropriate goal for us to have.
*insert major eye roll here*
Y’all. What are we doing? Why do we do this to ourselves? Expect ourselves and others to recreate and change ourselves/themselves just because a calendar year has changed? No wonder January and I have never gotten along very well. It’s dark, it’s cold, and people are all about asking you what your “New Year’s Resolutions” are.
Maybe it’s not all January’s fault. Admittedly it is following a couple of months of partying with a capital P. Joy with a capital J. The season of rush and busyness and quiet meditation and candlelight and twinkling lights and festivities and remembering. Who would want to walk through the door after that guy?
Still I wish January could come up with another motto, another thing to affiliate with–you know, maybe get an image makeover. I mean, wouldn’t you rather get a beautiful, colorful magazine (did you notice the neutrals with just a touch of color on the cover of this one? *sigh*) with a message scrawled across it in eye-catching font that says:
CONGRATULATIONS……YOU DID IT.
that is all
And then it could be filled with stories about great experiences people had during the holidays or ways to be kind to yourself, as in celebrating who you are in this very season, at this very moment. January, don’t be all about the change. Why not be about giving ourselves a big ol’ hug after all the stress and overwhelming beauty of being with people we love and making every effort we can to bake, to cook, to buy, to make, to read, to share, to love and to orchestrate the best possible magically muchly delightful Christmas for those we love? Yeah. Why not that, January?
I bet then you’d be proud to walk through the door after Party season. Because I think quiet reflection and celebrating who and where we all are beats out managed chaos, magical madness, and teetering sanity every single day.
That’s a magazine I’d buy and hang onto for a long, long time.
Whaddaya say, January? Will you at least consider it?
Love to all.
Thank you all for your prayers for sweet K. She continues to fight and is in critical condition. Please keep her and her family and the Wesleyan community in your thoughts and hearts and prayers. All are appreciated. ❤