there’d be days like this. There’d be days like this, my Mama said. (Thank you, Shirelles and others.)
Days where there are way more questions than answers.
And those questions lead to more questions.
But wait! That’s not all…..
sit and think about this particular something, and then there are all the questions cropping up from a totally different situation in addition to what is already churning through your mind.
And it just goes downhill from there.
Today hasn’t been an awful one, not by any means. Days that bring beautiful people across my path and ones that have me savoring the leftover memories from past days…..those can be actually quite lovely.
But the unexpected things that can crop up…..and expected, dreaded ones as well. Those are what can turn one’s sanity all topsy turvy and toss it around like a tennis ball in the dryer.
All over the place.
It in the midst of those that I feel the most lost. I’m the one some folks are looking to for guidance now, bless ’em. Like my 11 year old who came in with so much anxiety, I suspect it could have been a panic attack.
It is enough to fling me straight into one right along with her.
I don’t know exactly when the shift happened. Maybe it was when my parents were no longer here or years before when I became a parent for the first time myself. All I know is, it can get really awkward when folks are looking to me, and I turn around looking for the one who really knows what is going on.
I don’t have the answers to all the questions. I don’t even have any good advice to offer on the days when all the questions keep roaring through, refusing to allow for rest or peace or comfort. All I know is, some days it’s okay to simply survive. It’s okay to make do, to do what it takes to get by, and to take the grace offered in sleep and waking up to a new day.
I guess that’s why I’ve clicked like on every single one of the memes that proclaim that resurrection can be an everyday experience. Yes. That. I need to believe in that. That each and every day, hour if need be, we can rise from the death and doubt and find new life.
Every single time.
Some days are just like that. And those are the ones when resurrection matters the most.
The courage, the love, the faith, the determination, and the good people around us–and we rise up and try again. One more time.
Love to all.