The One In Which I Drone On

Almost two weeks ago, when we were in Texas, there was a story on the news that I was paying no attention to.  I was moving between the rooms in the place we were staying, doing my usual–gathering up, throwing away, tossing in the washer, and generally trying to make sure we wound up leaving with everything we brought–mostly by keeping things from getting lost under the couch or bed or whatever.

Cooter found some unfortunate child’s little tractor under a chair while we were there, so we know it can and has happened.

But this news story, though it did not capture my attention at all at first, did grab me right at the end.  Something about drones and how people were worried about them being a serious invasion of privacy.

I found myself shaking my head.  All political issues and whatnot aside, all I could think was–

How about I’m just trying to live my life such that if those high-tech drones, or you know, God, were watching closely, it would still be good.  

And I continued on with the task at hand–taking care of what needed taking care of.  Because if those drones or my Mama are peeping in, I don’t want to be caught with a mess for all to see.

Tonight I’m thankful for laughter and thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere and share some brevity when things get so serious.  I give thanks for a Mama who taught me to dance in this life like nobody was watching but reminded me often that there was nothing I could ever do that she wouldn’t find out about.  (She wasn’t joking–I grew up in a very, very small town.)  That sort of parenting prepared me for living a life that is viewable.  Not that it always is–I have my fair share of moments that aren’t for public consumption.  But for my Mama’s sake, I try.

As for those drones?  Send ’em on, I guess.  Just be sure they swing by Amazon and pick up a thing or two off my wish list to bring with them.  At least until Amazon gets their own drones, like they said they would.

It’s a whole new world, y’all.

Love (and wishes for a little privacy) to all.

Parrot AR Drone via Wikimedia Commons

Parrot AR Drone via Wikimedia Commons

In The Now

My little guy has gotten up the past few mornings saying he had some strange dreams the night before. Then be proceeds to tell us about them.
He’s right. He has some pretty off the wall dreams.
And last night, so did I.
I was awakened early at the end of the second one and the clarity of what had happened and how real it all felt was very unsettling.
In the first part I was at Bare Bulb Coffee where we go to church. I was sitting with our friends and my friend’s son was reading aloud for all of us. While listening I started flipping ahead in my copy of the book to mark where I was assigned to read. I thought I was being quiet and unobtrusive but I guess not. My friend leaned over and said, pointing a finger, “I think you need to be listening, Missy!”
Wow. In my dream I was ashamed and embarrassed. I knew she was right. I wasn’t focused on the here and now because I was too busy looking ahead.
*sigh*
I get it.
And if that wasn’t enough of a wake up call, the dream morphed into another different dream entirely, like they do.
I was in a crowd. Shopping. An open air market kind of thing I guess, because we were outside. I had a cart and my wallet was in the front child’s seat. I walked away from my cart for a moment. I can’t remember why now–maybe to look at something for sale or for a bathroom. As I turned back, I saw someone grab my wallet and run.

Y’all.

For whatever reason, this is a great fear of mine. When I say great, I mean HUGE.
In my dream I screamed my head off, and someone actually stopped the guy. I think I was going to get my wallet back when I was awakened suddenly.

But before I woke up, in the moment when I saw the person running away with my belongings, I thought, “Yeah I figured this would happen eventually.”
And I heard my own voice echoing in my head–“You got distracted, not paying attention in the now, and look at how that worked out for you.”

Oh my. I think I may be trying to tell myself something. I’m overwhelmed right now and have been crazy busy. For months I’ve been planning and organizing and focusing on a future event.
And it breaks my heart to think about what all I have lost or missed because I wasn’t listening, wasn’t focused or invested. In. That. Moment.

Tonight I will rest my head, and I hope to have sweet dreams. I have turned over a new leaf today. I hope a sudden storm doesn’t flip it back over, but today I vowed to start focusing more on the now and less on six days, six weeks, six months down the road. Now.
I am thankful for friends, whether from my “real life” or from within, who will tell it like it is. Point a finger, call me Missy, and expect me to do better.
I mean, now that I know better and see what the distractions and being focused on the future steal from my now, how can I do anything less?
Love to all.