cast of stones

there are times
on this journey
when the path is covered with brambles
and the way is almost indiscernible

this is when I miss your voice the most
and the wisdom
you shared as easily as the
stories from days gone by
and sometimes they were the same

you seemed so assured
of right and wrong
and yet I wonder if it was
always so clear to you

because frankly, the mud confuses me
and I’ve lost sight of the tracks you left
in the midst of it
I cannot read the compass you gave me
in this unchartered territory

and the Light you were as you showed me the way
seems a little dimmer right now
as time passes and the memories fade
and stories wander off on their own
with no one to tell them

and so I sit here
all alone
on the side of the trail
I can hear the people moving along at their busy pace
to and fro

listening to the buzz of their words
none of it really making any sense to me

I shiver in the darkness
hiding in the shadows
unable to go on
perhaps I will just stay here forever
as though I am broken
and have been given a cast of stones

with a heart too heavy to go on

the secret of magic

the secret of magic
does not belong to the one performing
instead it is in the eye of the one who is watching
and in her heart
for if she will not believe
she will not see all there is to behold

but if she has even the tiniest bit of hope
of faith
if she can believe even just a little bit

wonderful and amazing things
will happen
right before her very eyes

 

 

 

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through the keyhole

the storm upon us
gave no warning
there was barely time to close the windows
and lock the doors

the dark clouds obliterated the sun
it was as though night had fallen early
though the day was not half over

we gathered and huddled close
trying to ignore the howling winds
and torrential rains
a long day and night of it

we became so accustomed to the roar
and chaos and fear
that when the skies began to clear
and the stars came out
we were loathe to open a window or door

we did not trust it
it seemed safer
to remain locked inside
forever
where the storm’s tentacles could not reach

we stayed tucked away there
thinking only of what we had before
the storm
and having no energy to move into tomorrow
or to gaze at the light of the stars

we soon forgot the scent of the flowers
and the color of the hummingbirds’ wings–
of the buzzing bees gathering their sweet nectar
and the song of the frogs at dusk
we had no recollection

we were numb to all but the worry and the dark

until through the keyhole
came whipping a little breeze
its tiny whistle a melody to lift the spirits
of all tucked away in sadness

refreshing, tickling our faces, whispering in our ears,
blowing through an air
of hope
and love
and memories of the joy from before

that promised to come again
if only we would open the door
and let the light back in

 

Photo by Lee Morley via Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/spookman01/

Photo by Lee Morley via Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/spookman01/

missing her light

 

 

the time came so quickly there was barely time for a goodbye

before I could call shotgun and hop in alongside you,
you were gone

and I’ve wondered what the last kind words you heard were

I hope they made you smile
as you took off for the stars

and made your home amid the Light
that reflects all the good that is you

pack up the moon

when you were very small

and the world seemed so big

I held your tiny hand with the perfect pink fingernails

no bigger than a pencil top

and whispered in your sweet little ear,

“I love you to the moon and back”

when you started dreaming 

of who and what you wanted to be,

big dreams and small about 

your name in lights

or with letters behind it

I sat you down, looked you in the eyes,

told you I believed in you and said, 

“Shoot for the moon baby girl, you’ve got this”

when a smile turned your heart

and you dreamed of what might be,

could be

I wished for one who would

never hurt you or betray your trust,

for the one who would love you

as you should be loved

and send you over the moon

and now as the time is passing

more quickly, as it picks up the pace

and the days and the years speed by–

because of all you have put into 

your life and your story, 

you are not far off from those hopes 

and dreams coming true

I watch as you begin to pack your bags

for the next leg of your journey,

the next chapter in your story

which is not so far away anymore

and I remember so many of the joys and sorrows

and tender moments

in the quiet of the night as you lay sleeping

worn out from all there is to do

I pack up the moon and tuck it into a corner 

of your bag

carefully wrapped in the fabric of my love 

and my hopes and dreams for you

so that you will always have light in the darkness

and no matter how far apart this life takes us

I will always love you to the 

moon

and 

back

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sing with the sparrows

when you left this world

whose troubles weighed you down

and whose darkness made you weep

as you held hands with those in the shadows

 

I hope you were given a moment

to dance with the fireflies

and sing with the sparrows

 

before going on to where

the brokenness could no longer find you

the wild and starry sky

they talk about how lovely it is, the sky,

and how this phenomenon or that

is about to happen

and how we all should go out and

Observe

 

I get a little crazy at this,

the idea of something like Halley’s comet

happening only once in my lifetime

is too much weight to bear

if I miss it, there are no second chances, are there?

 

it all feels so finite

 

and I don’t need reminding of how short

life is,

this journey,

the paths that just stop

way too suddenly

leaving those of us who loved them

in shock, arms empty, weeping

 

longing to run out into the dark night

and shout at the stars

with anger until our voices are raw and

almost gone and we have nothing left

and we collapse to the earth–

“didn’t you have enough? why did

you need another one to shine through the

darkness when you already have so many?”

 

our world is so much darker now that there

are more stars

 

and still we follow the crowds out the door

to look up in wonder and ooh and ahh

over the once in a lifetime sight to behold

 

knowing that we had a once in a lifetime treasure

walking beside us for a while

we stifle our pain and smile to disguise our

tear-stained cheeks

 

and gaze up in amazement

that has nothing to do with the wild and starry sky

we look up and keep our screams and fears and

heartbreak to ourselves

we lift our eyes, unseeing, as the memories

play across the screen of our hearts

like those planetarium shows did when we were young

 

but we save all of that for a night

when there is no eclipse or comet or colorful lights

to mark the passing of our lives by,

for a night when the crowds have all gone

and we stand out there alone

beneath the darkened dome

and tell the heavens of

the heaviness in our hearts

and the darkness that still is,

despite all the light from above

and in the quiet of the night, the wind blows

and the tears fall to the ground, the echo

of their sadness

the only sound for miles around

 

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the last one home

there is little better feeling than being the last one home

the last one to return to the roost where we all grew our wings

the lights on, hearts and stories waiting until all are there

and the smiles grow brighter

hugs are given and given again

and last just a moment longer than they used to

laughter accompanies the threats of telling that one story

that everyone already knows anyway

 

all await me behind the blinds with the light peeping through the cracks

beckoning me to their warmth

their affection the perfect protection from the cold chill

and darkness of the journey

 

all those I love and hold dear

tucked away inside,

piled up on every chair and cushion

and even curled up on the floor

 

plates are full

and so are the hearts

of those I love

and cannot wait to see

a sight for sore eyes

it’s been far too long

 

there is little better feeling than to be the last one home

unless it’s being the first one there, waiting,

anticipating

all the joy that is to come

 

radiance of tomorrow

there is brokenness in the world

and each morning seems to bring more stories,

more news

of violence, crime, heartbreak, racism, hatred, bullying, judging, loss

 

stories that have the ones who hear them

with their hearts and souls

weeping

and wondering if the world will ever be set to right again

 

and yet each night as I burrow under my blanket

seeking rest despite the rips in the fabric of our being

I find myself looking toward what I hope will come when I awaken

and embrace a new day

 

the healing, the kindness, the good in all of us

 

and I dream of the radiance of tomorrow

and all that could be

if we only

could

be

menders

of the rips

and pEAce it all back together again

that part was true

of all the things I’ve promised and felt in my heart I needed to do

when I said I would love you always

and do everything in my power to keep you safe and

fill your world with laughter and joy

 

no matter what I couldn’t stop from happening

no matter the darkness I couldn’t keep out of our world

no matter the stories I couldn’t keep from touching yours

 

when I said I would love you forever

no matter what story you brought home

that part was true