“This Is Not Your Week”

So my friend who isn’t Shirley found out there was going to be a conflict on the day of our daughters’ dance recital.  Her son, who plays baseball, had a tournament scheduled for that same day.  Smack dab in the middle of the recital time.  For those of you who have children or know children or were a child, you can imagine how hard this is for a parent.  How do you choose which one to attend?  How do you make sure the other child gets where he or she needs to be?  How do you keep everyone fairly happy, feeling loved, and still stay sane?

It’s hard.

And all of these things and the logistics for the day were running through my friend’s head when she first told me about the conflict two weeks out.  The girls had a makeup dance class two days later.  As we sat down to visit, she told me, “Yeah, this girl at work asked me if I’d figured out what we’re going to do on that Saturday.  I just put my hand up and told her, ‘Nope.  Stop.  This is not your week.'”

If y’all could have seen the determination on her face–I laughed of course, as did she.  She pointed out she had a whole lot of other things on her plate before she could even begin thinking about the following weekend and its conflicts.  So she refused to worry about something that far out.

Good for her.

And, as it turned out, the tournament was cancelled, and all of the worrying that didn’t happen (and the little that did) would have been for naught.

Good for you, Shirley.  You kept breathing.

Tonight I’m thankful for this wise and witty friend of mine who keeps me laughing and inspires me and teaches me a lot about peace.  And about letting things roll off my back.  She’s good at the whole peace thing–despite all that life throws at her. (Which is a lot.)  And I think the key to that peace might just be the fact that she prioritizes and has good boundaries.  She’s not going to let that ol’ devil Anxiety steal her revival.  She is smiling just about all of the time.  Really smiling.

I want some of that.

May we all learn how to throw up our hands and tell the worrying and all the stressing out over things, “This is not your week.”  So many times I have worried over things and situations that never came to fruition.  May we all learn to let that go, and in doing that, may our hearts be lighter and our smiles a little brighter.

Go tell whatever’s worrying your future, “This is not your week.”  You’ve got better things think about.

Love to all.

It Goes Both Ways

This past Sunday we moved our college girl out of the dorm and back home.  Her and all her stuff.  I found myself saying something that I seem to be saying a lot lately, as I asked my cousin for help at the last minute.  “My lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part, and I hate to be a bother, but…..”

I do hate bothering folks.  And needing help.

I was raised by a strong Mama who often said, “The Lord helps those who help themselves.”  Which was what she said to discourage us from sitting around waiting on things to get done without us putting in any effort, I’m pretty sure.

Today, however, I was reminded of the original quip–one that my husband brought home from work with him.

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“Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”  

Yeah.  This one I don’t do so well either.  I don’t know if it’s codependency or being the oldest of my siblings or just my personality, but I tend to make emergencies out of other’s needs, last minute or not.  I loathe letting other people down.

Today it came to my attention that someone we knew might need some help.  I was concerned and frustrated, as this cold had me on a self-imposed quarantine until this evening.  (I’m old-school–I don’t go anywhere until I’ve been fever free for 24 hours. That was good enough for my Mama, so…..) I wanted to help, felt guilty I wasn’t helping, and yet…..

this person had not even asked for my help.

Still I worried over the details.  Maybe I should have offered.  Then my wise girl pointed out that this situation was like so many others that we’ve come across–the person involved tended to change his plans and his mind at the last minute.  Taking others along for the ride.

In other words, not our monkey, not our circus.

Not our emergency.

There was such an immediate sense of relief when I realized that.  It’s not always on me to help.  To make things okay.

If that sounds crazy, good.  You are in a healthy place, I think.  It has made me crazy at times, trying to rearrange my own priorities so I could help someone whose plans fell apart and needed someone at the last minute.

It’s good to help others.  It’s also good to have boundaries.

To take care of you.  And it’s even okay to say no sometimes.

It’s a fine line to walk.  But today I took a step in the right direction.  I let go of expectations that had been put on me by no one else but me.

Tonight I’m especially thankful for my cousin.  And his truck.  He not only showed up, he showed up with a smile and a willing attitude.  That was another of my Mama’s favorites:  “The Lord loves a cheerful giver…..and so do I.”  She always did love my cousin.  He’s shown up more than a few times with that smile and attitude.

May we all have good boundaries and the peace that those can bring.  And when it is right and we do show up, may we have a smiling face, a cheerful heart, and be all in.

Love to all.